Beragam nasihat telah didengar dan dijalankan oleh Lee. Namun, lama kelamaan dia merasa muak karena harus melakukan semua itu demi mendapatkan perhatian orang lain yang belum tentu peduli pada dirinya.
“Ada yang menyuruhku untuk memanjangkan rambut, supaya aku terlihat feminin. Ada yang menasihatiku agar aku jangan banyak bicara,” jelas Lee yang berusia 27 tahun.
“Sebagian bahkan ada yang menyuruhku untuk pura-pura kagum saat pria bicara padaku, aku harus selalu tersenyum manis. Aku tidak boleh banyak bertanya dan jangan terlihat terlalu menguasai percakapan. Benar-benar repot,” uraianya.
Pengalaman tersebut pun menginspirasi Lee untuk menulis buku bertajuk The Right Not to Date.
Lee menuangkan kisah hidupnya sebagai wanita di Korea Selatan yang kental budaya Asia dan tradisi konservatif.
Melajang di usia 20 dan 30-an, kata Lee, merupakan mimpi buruk untuk semua orangtua di Korea Selatan.
Dalam buku tersebut, Lee menuliskan bahwa wanita yang belum menikah di usia 20-an dan 30-an, dipandang sebagai wanita tidak kompeten.
“Aku pikir, mereka yang masih lajang bisa bahagia atau tidak bahagia, sama seperti mereka yang menjalani hubungan, mereka bisa bahagia dan tidak bahagia,” katanya.
“Hanya karena seseorang menikah atau memiliki kekasih, itu tidak membuat mereka lebih hebat dari orang yang masih lajang. Hubungan seseorang bukan pencapaian sukses atau kegagalan. Hubungan merupakan pilihan dalam kehidupan. Siapapun berhak memilih ingin menikah atau tidak menikah,” bebernya.
Sejumlah halaman dalam buku Lee, banyak menguraikan mengenai pilihan melajang itu adalah keputusan personal yang harus dihargai.
Menurut dia, tekanan seseorang untuk menikah dengan pasangan yang ideal membentuk pola menghakimi orang berdasarkan penampilan dan pencapaian.
Lee mengatakan bahwa dia yakin pengalaman menjadi wanita lajang dengan segala tekanan sosial, juga dialami banyak wanita Asia lainnya.
“Kamu harus menurunkan standar” dan “Kamu harus menurunkan berat badan untuk mencari pacar”, kata Lee, dua kalimat yang selalu mampir ke telinganya dari orang-orang sekitar, terutama yang sudah menikah.
“Aku yakin sekali bahwa meski tidak diucapkan tapi tercipta beban untuk wanita muda menjaga penampilan demi mendapatkan perhatian lawan jenis,” ucapnya.
Ironisnya, kata Lee, tren di Korea dan kebanyakan negara Asia, selain “dipaksa” untuk segera menikah, wanita juga harus memiliki karier yang bagus.
Kemudian, Lee mengatakan bahwa selama proses penulisan bukunya tersebut, dia melihat generasi wanita muda di Korea telah menepikan fantasi rumahtangga sempurna demi mengejar karier impian.
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| Loe Tahu Gak...!!! Wanita Itu Juga Punya Hak Untuk Tidak Pacaran Tau... |
Lee yang berhasil memperoleh gelar Ph.D jurusan sastra Korea di usia yang masih muda, mengaku bahwa kesuksesan itu tidak pernah dianggap berarti. Pasalnya, dia masih berstatus lajang.
“Banyak orang bilang padaku, wanita cerdas tidak populer di antara pria,” jelasnya.
Muak dengan semua syarat dan standar ganda yang membingungkan. Lee pun memilih untuk sementara waktu fokus pada apa yang membuat hidupnya bersemangat, bekerja dan menulis.
Dia mengatakan bahwa jika menurut tradisi wanita wajib menikah, maka dia juga memiliki hak untuk tidak pacaran.
Paksaan dan tekanan sosial kepada wanita soal status hubungan, kata Lee, harus berakhir.
“Orang harus mulai menghargai perbedaan komponen cara berpikir dan prioritas orang lain. Sejumlah wanita memilih tidak memiliki kekasih atau menikah, bisa karena banyak pertimbangan bijak yang tak perlu mereka umumkan pada orang banyak,” pungkasnya.
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artikel : female
foto: obviousmag
10 Easy Steps to Succeed in Your Online Classes
Congratulations Youve made up our minds to pursue your upper schooling, and doing so online is how to pass if you have an interest in a versatile, studentcentered educating manner. Studying online permits you to pursue different pursuits and attend to different responsibilities whilst nonetheless operating your method towards some extent. However, it will now and again imply that its clean to get distracted. Here are 10 clean steps to verify luck on your online categories.
- Connect together with your instructors once conceivable. Even in case you are doing smartly within the category, its extraordinarily vital to increase a rapport together with your trainer. When you do that early on, you temporarily understand what the priorities are within the route, what expectancies the professor has of you and youre going to be motivated to prevail, surer of whats forward and higher ready to do smartly with the impending subject material.
Valuable questions to invite your trainer come with the next
How versatile are you with time limits How versatile are you with grownup freshmen What applied sciences do you employ within the route How to be had are you through e mail and different sorts of verbal exchange How do you put up an internet neighborhood and what are the expectancies for participation in it In addition, since instructors are to be had to lend a hand all over the classes, its all the time just right to have had private touch with the trainer early on. This method, when you wish to have lend a hand, its more straightforward to achieve out and get the help you wish to have.
- Confirm the technical necessities of the route. Online categories can also be very advisable for college kids with busy schedules, however provided that they are able to simply get right of entry to the fabrics. It is vital to obviously perceive what the technical necessities are. So, ahead of the route begins or as quickly thereafter as conceivable, youll want to test that your pc will paintings with the entire online equipment, and that you understand how to navigate them. This will be sure that you dont must spend time all the way through the route attempting to determine the generation.
three. Create a time table and stick with it. Quality online instructors create classes which might be clean to navigate and feature transparent expectancies. Having that roughly easytodealwith framework in position will make learning and succeeding that a lot more straightforward. However, although the framework and necessities of your category arent as transparent, youll create a time table and construction, which is able to very much fortify your probabilities of luck within the route. Using equipment equivalent to Google Calendar is a good way to start out. Knowing how your weeks and months glance and scheduling blocks of analysis time for each and every activity or module will will let you stick with a time table.
four. Ask questionsall the time. When you dont perceive, ask questions. When you do perceive, ask additional questions. Instructors recognize scholars who take part, and if theres a participation or dialogue part a part of the grade, then asking high quality questions is helping guarantee your grade on this space. Even if there isnt a participation part, its all the time helpful to invite inquiries to remember to perceive the fabric and are transparent on what is needed of you.
five. Be arrangedand keep arranged. Students whore taking conventional, campusbased classes most often have a constant time table to observe each and every week, through which study room instruction is adopted through assignments out of doors the category. However, for online classes, scholars will have to search out their very own techniques to stick on most sensible in their paintings. It is crucial that you just be arranged from the start of the semester with the intention to achieve success in an internet route. For instance mark task due dates on your calendar, discover a submitting machine for each online subject material and bodily subject material that is helping you stay monitor of the whole lot simply, and shed light on find out about schedules that duvet sections of the route one by one so youve got an arranged tactic to protecting the semesters subject material as you pass alongside.
- Have a blank, quiet, and constant workspace. One factor online and inclass classes have in not unusual is that scholars all the time want a spot to review or whole assignments this is blank, quiet, and constant. You can select the place that is for youwhether or not its at a espresso store, a college library, a devoted place of business, or at house. Wherever you select to review and whole assignments, you must make it a constant location that doesnt have out of doors distractions. It is basically key that where is quiet and lets you focal point in your paintings with out distractions.
- Do no longer procrastinate. Successful distance freshmen hardly procrastinate. They dont do away with assignments or wait till the final second to write down their papers. Successful online scholars experience freedoms that come with operating at their very own tempo and the facility to finish their paintings in as a lot time because it takes them. On the opposite hand, they know that finishing their assignments is best performed early and on time cramming merely doesnt paintings, and it doesnt will let you retain knowledge longterm. Get began early on getting a success.
eight. Work in your studying comprehension. Successful distance freshmen generally tend to have just right studying comprehension abilities. Most conventional, campusbased scholars concentrate to lectures and take notes, and a few online classes additionally require this. However, the vast majority of distance freshmen are anticipated to grasp subject material thru a large amount of studying. Although far finding out classes be offering video recordings and audio clips, maximum systems require scholars to hide and grasp a considerable amount of written knowledge. If it is a problem for you, it could be very useful to first sign up in a studying comprehension route there are lots of assets online that will help you do that. This ability by myself could make a huge distinction on your luck.
nine. Establish and admire routines that be just right for you. If, for instance, youre employed best within the morning or in brief bursts, then set find out about routines that can help you find out about within the prelunch hours when your mind is contemporary. If, then again, you do best through learning at evening or at the weekends when youll devote nightowl hours or longer blocks in your learning, then make it some degree to take action. Consider how and whilst you paintings best, and enforce a find out about plan that respects the routines that be just right for you.
- Connect together with your friends. Establishing sturdy connections with friends and professors is a very powerful facet of tutorial luck, in addition to skilled development. One of essentially the most rewarding reports in schooling is finding out thru collaboration. Forming significant relationships together with your friends and professors can can help you be told extra, keep motivated, and feature an outlet to specific your personal working out of subject material. So, keep attached thru message forums, chat rooms, e mail, and different digital assets. And take note lots of the other people you meet in faculty shall be conceivable process assets down the road so determine connections and keep in contact
Florida National University gives a wealth of tutorial and professional online classes. Check out the entire choicesyour long run is ready